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4 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship

by Byrne Anderson
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In almost every relationship, there is a high-desire and a low-desire partner. Even if both of you enjoy having sex, experimenting with your sexuality, and meeting each other’s needs, the bottom line is that one of you will most likely want more of it. Most people in relationships experience swings in physical intimacy. Things start out hot and heavy, but then they plateau off once things “normalize” in your relationship. You become accustomed to the way things are and get caught up in the pace of life. It’s not that you hate having sex or don’t care about it anymore, it’s just that it doesn’t occupy as much of your brain space as it used to.

Increasing intimacy in your relationship is always laudable. People with good levels of intimacy and a great sex life are often happier. It’s not all there is to a relationship, but it plays a big part. Intimacy and finances are what most couples fight about. It’s either money or sex. If you’re having great sex as much as each of you would like, then you’re overcoming a major obstacle that many relationships face.

If you’re looking for ways to increase intimacy, here are 4 things you can do to start making a change right away.

Have the Conversation

First of all, you need to be honest with each other about where you each stand. Open communication around intimacy is hard, especially when you start getting into the details of desires, fantasies, etc. You’ve got to feel comfortable having that conversation. If you’re not there yet, start building trust in your relationship so you can get to the point where you can have frank talks.

If you can’t verbally express what you want in bed, then you’re never going to get it. You’re not sleeping with a psychic. Talk to them about your satisfaction, yes, but more importantly, ask them about theirs! Find out what your partner wants and then make a plan to start giving it to them.

Have Some Fun

There’s a whole sex industry out there. It’s worth billions of dollars every year in revenue. You’re not the only person who wants to spice things up in the bedroom. Get over the embarrassment of going to a store or shopping online for lingerie and just do it. Buy some sex toys for you and your partner.

Just make sure that both of you are on board before you bring something like handcuffs or a vibrator into the bedroom. If you don’t give your partner a heads up, or they’re not the kind of person who likes surprises, then it could backfire.

Keeping things playful in your relationship is a great way to break down barriers and try new things. As you’re together for longer, exploration and discovery with intimacy can help keep things hotter for longer.

Go See a Doctor

Sometimes people need a little help with intimacy from a qualified medical provider. Desire isn’t always about mood and setting. Hormones change as we age and physical bodies get in the way of sex. Conditions like vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, and other issues become challenges.


Melanotan 2, for example, could become an effective erectile dysfunction treatment that also has promising potential when it comes to desire. According to recent studies on mice, over 80% saw improvement with this peptide.

Melanotan 2 is not yet FDA approved for human use. It is still undergoing much scientific research for future medical possibilities.

Put in the Effort

Sex at the beginning of relationships is so easy. There’s this animalistic attraction that immediately gets you turned on and in the mood. Just seeing the person you’re sleeping with, heck just thinking about them, is enough to get your juices flowing. Those feelings eventually fade, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them or aren’t attracted to them. It’s just part of nature that we become accustomed to what we’re around all of the time.

When that plateauing happens, you’re going to need to put in more effort to make intimacy a priority. That means going out to dinner, the massages, the gifts, the foreplay, all of it. If you don’t do it, sex will still probably happen, but it won’t be as good. To have memorable sex, you need to make your partner know how much you want it. You’ll also enjoy it more.

Intimacy is something you can work on. It’s not simply there or absent. With the right tools and some dedication, you can have a fantastic sex life full of wonderful intimacy that lasts for years with a partner you love.

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