图片:盖蒂图片社

It was Oct. 30, 2017; 12:52 a.m. EST. The Los Angeles Dodgers had just begun their three-run rally in the top of the ninth inning in World Series Game 5 with a thrilling two-run home run to left by outfielder Yasiel Puig. The score was 12-11 Astros, and in within 10 minutes the Dodgers would send the game into extra innings.

Meanwhile, the 1988 American League MVP Jose Canseco logged onto Twitter to tweet this 奇怪的事情 fan theory:

There’s a lot to take in here. That being said, I’m 100 percent on board.

Let’s get a closer look at this tweet.

So, the main points in Canseco’s 奇怪的事情 fan theory — which will, from this point forward, be referred to as “Canseco’s Origin of Species” — are as follows:

  1. Canseco himself may be from the Upside Down, the parallel dimension featured in Netflix’s 奇怪的事情

  2. The human race may very well be an invading species, much like the demon slug/slug-dog/slug-men demogorgons from Netflix’s 奇怪的事情

  3. This, as a whole, would explain evolution.

Knowing what we know about evolutionary biology (very little), Jose Canseco (very little), and the timeless, otherworldly adult twins/ 奇怪的事情 creators the Duffer brothers (very little), I see no immediate reason to reject Canseco’s Origin of Species theory. In fact, I would argue that the theory deserves equal time in public schools.

I am certain that reasonable people would agree.

As we all know, the burden of proof now rests with the scientific community at large. Can they provide enough evidence to dismiss Canseco’s theory that 奇怪的事情 is how humanity began? I very much doubt it.

In any case, Canseco returned to regularly scheduled programming with his next tweet:

Thank you, Mr. Canseco, for starting the conversation.

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