터무니없이 구동회의적인 눈과 뺨에 단단히 뿌리를 혀와 비즈니스의 세계에서 보인다.
As the dark parts of the day get ever longer, I find myself contemplating what’s been lost.
And, of course, what’s been overwhelming.
When it comes to the words we see and use everyday, I worry that they’ve become same-old, same-old. Same old verbal cabbage, that is.
What happened to some of the older words, those that fell into disuse, but still have a glory all their own?
I’m grateful, therefore, to Paul Anthony Jones and his marvelously timedThe Cabinet of Linguistic Curiosities: A Yearbook of Forgotten Words.
This exists to bring you back in touch with words of yore. Or, indeed, to encounter them for the first time and wonder what you’ve been missing.
To get you started on new (but old) words that have a far higher calling than, say Inboxing 또는 Googling, I’ve chosen 10 that, for me, represent utter joy.
These are real words that have simply been forgotten. We need to bring them back. Now.
Sample usage: I fired him and spike-bozzled his career. Yes, this means to sabotage, ruin or render ineffective. As in: “This senator needs to be immediately spike-bozzled.” This will surely come in very useful at work.
“Life’s a lottery,” I hear you say. Doesn’t that make it sound like a bland affair they have once a year at the Rotary Club? Yet here we have this wonderful word that’s been laying dormant for centuries, waiting to be revivified. Yes, great-go is another — and far better word — for a national lottery. I’ve spent $5 on a Great-Go tonight. I’m very excited.
This is a word that we need now, more than ever. I will offer you a sample context: “Doctor, I fear I’m suffering from proditomania. I blame Donald Trump.” Proditomania is, you see, the irrational belief that everyone around you is a traitor. This word is surely most suited for board meetings and Christmas dinners. Please start using it and report back.
This is truly a brilliant word. I’m sorry, darling. I’m going to be home very late. We’re having a charette. No, it’s not a strange ritual involving the hanging and flogging of a poor leader. Instead, it’s a mid-19th century expression meaning a period of intense work. Yes, it does literally mean “a cart.” And that’s what students at the Ecole de Beaux-Arts in Paris used to wheel their work around.
This word is an essential in today’s times. It means, well, an adult who’s been pampered and spoiled by their parents and grows up soft. How many oaf-rocked people do you regularly come across? Wouldn’t you rather call them oaf-rocked than, say, millennials?
How have we lived without this for so long? You surely know at least one doorbellist. I guarantee you have to hear from dozens of them every day. No, they’re not Jehova’s Witnesses. A doorbellist is another, far finer word for, well, idiot. Or moron. Or dolt. In these next few days, you can accuse the deserving of being doorbellists without them having the faintest idea what you mean. Wouldn’t you enjoy that?
So many of us have been dealt a kelter at one time or another. It’s a hand of cards that has no value. It’s the infamous pig in a poke, without you having to pay for it. Wouldn’t your co-workers be impressed if you walked into the office and said: “I’m really sorry I’m late. The world dealt me a kelter this morning”?
I’m so tired of businesspeople using the words of war. If I see one more doorbellist waffle on about an iPhone-killer, I swear I’ll go total holmgang on him. A holmgang, you see, is a duel to the death. Surely it would be preferable for, say, the head of Samsung to stand up at the next big tech conference and say: “As for our company’s feelings towards Apple, it’s a holmgang.” Just imagine the media’s wide eyes and ears.
Robert Mueller holds a press conference. The world holds its breath. Finally, the special prosecutor speaks. “Today, I am charging the following, well-known people with being dimber-dambers.” A million thoughts are conjured in a million minds. But this completely descriptive and delightful word, at least two centuries old, means the leader of a gang of criminals. Just think of all the public figures to whom it might apply.
And so we come to the final, essential word. Though it sounds like one, agerasia isn’t a disease. It isn’t a fear of wide-open spaces in Asia, for example. Instead, it simply refers to someone who looks far younger than they really are. In my view, these 10 words represent precisely that. Which is why I’ll start using them immediately. Please don’t try and spike-bozzle my attempts. I might just go holmgang on you.